Warriors: Truth or Dare
by Honeycloud of RiverClan
Summary: Honeycloud has been inspired to run a truth or dare (or, more accurately, torture) show. Watch as she and her cast dare random warriors, have things go hilariously wrong, and investigate a mystery! I do not own Warriors. Rated T for violence, hyperness, and *cough* maybe a LITTLE swearing...
1. Episode 1

**Cast:**

Host: Honeycloud-brown and white she-cat with honey colored eyes

Personality: sensible, easily annoyed

Co-host: Featherstorm-gray tom with pale blue eyes(also medicine cat)

Personality: sane, sensible, calm

Security: Gingertail-light brown tom with ginger tail

Personality: very, very hyper when has too much soda. Unfortunately, is also addicted to soda

Blackwing-lithe black she-cat with blue eyes

Personality: sensible, mostly calm unless angered

Sunwhisker-light ginger she-cat with golden tail

Personality: loves explosives of any kind

Hawkflight-gray tom with pale blue eyes

Personality: very, very evil(and smart)

Maintenance:

Beetlepaw-black she-cat with green eyes

Personality: hyper every day, every minute, every second

Otterfoot-ginger she-cat with brown eyes

Personality: don't get her angry. If you do, WATCH OUT

Carpsplash-white she-cat with green eyes

Personality: also very, very evil

Beechheart-brown tom with blue eyes

Personality: don't keep Jolly Ranchers within 200 feet of him

Technical manager:

Lightningpaw-silver colored tom with gray eyes, pelt has a metallic sheen

Personality: not much is known

* * *

Honeycloud says "Welcome to-"

*pause*

Honeycloud says, irritated "Let's try again. welcome to-"

*silence*

Most of the cats yell "Warriors: Truth or Dare!"

"Today is our first time airing. Lightningpaw, make sure we don't run over _Desperate Housecats_ again. Like we did last time." Honeycloud meows, checking the computer for emails.

Lightningpaw nods, then goes to check schedule.

A crash can be heard from the kitchen, along with yowls of "No! Stop!"

Gingertail is seen holding a can of Sprite. He drinks it in one gulp. "Soda."

Honeycloud turns around. "Pardon me?"

Gingertail is sitting like a statue.

"Okay... on to the first dare. Hollyleaf must-" Honeycloud meows, trying to revive Gingertail.

Sunwhisker claps her paws. "-eat a bomb!"

"No. She must-"Honeycloud meows, annoyed at Sunwhisker for interrupting her.

Hollyleaf enters the door, slightly nervous. "Looking for me?"

*lightning flashes and thunder rumbles* "Hi! You must eat a bomb or suffer the consequences!"Sunwhisker meows cheerily.

"Um, okay..." Hollyleaf then eats the bomb.

Sunwhisker runs around in circles around Hollyleaf yowling "5-4-3-2-1 EXPLODE!"

Hollyleaf explodes, then gets kicked in from door alive.

Honeycloud sighs. "I will now state the rules of the show:

1. You cannot die. If you explode, get mauled, are torn to pieces, etc. you will get kicked in from the door alive.

2. There will be no mating dares.

3. There will be no making out dares.

4. Do not bring Jolly Ranchers into the studio. Especially not when Beechheart is around.

5. Do not bring soda into the studio. Especially not when Gingertail is around."

Lightningpaw returns. "The computer is malfunctioning."

Honeycloud says something to him, then turns back to the audience. "Any more dares?"

Gingertail suddenly comes back to life and slaps Honeycloud on the face. "SODA! WHEE WHEE WHEEEEE!" He then dashes to the kitchen.

Featherstorm runs off, covered in soda, to subdue him. He returns with plenty of cuts, scrapes and bruises. "Some help over here?" he yowls.

Blackwing rolls her eyes, then retrieves the tranquilizer and runs off to help Featherstorm.

Honeycloud checks the watch that magically appeared on her paw. "We're out of time. Thank you for watching this episode of Warriors: Truth or Dare!"

Gingertail jumps in front of the camera. "ES-O-DEE-AY!" he yowls before running around in circles in the wrecked studio.


	2. Episode 2

Honeycloud pads in. She looks around. "Hello? It's time to start."

As if on cue, a number of cats emerge from various doors. Beechheart is sucking on a lollipop. "Whaddya doing?"

Gingertail is nowhere to be seen. The rest of the cats murmur nervously. Finally, Blackwing retrieves battle gear and tranquilizer and slowly inches toward the kitchen. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." then she mutters "I think."

Honeycloud calls the cast to attention. "You are watching-"

"Warriors: Truth or Dare!" the remaining cats yowl, including Gingertail who mysteriously appeared. He then rushes to the kitchen, grabs a can of soda and starts drinking it. The other cats crouch, frightened, behind various pieces of furniture save Lightningpaw.

Gingertail then starts shaking. "S-soda!" He manages to force open the Closet and grabs a flamethrower.

Honeycloud clutches the fire extinguisher tightly. "Gingertail, don't-"

She then starts spraying madly at the flamethrower, effectively extinguishing it.

Sunwhisker stalks Gingertail silently, frying pan in paw. She then whacks him, hard. Gingertail blacks out.

Honeycloud grabs a box with a hole in it. She sticks her paw inside. She grabs a piece of paper with _Jayfeather_ written on it. "Today's hamster will be Jayfeather."

Gingertail wakes up. "Oh goody. I hate Jayfeather. Wouldn't give me soda."

Hawkflight grins evilly. "I dare Jayfeather to be chained to a wall with Gingertail after he's had 100,000 cans of soda. Gingertail can have any weapon he wants, but only one." Gingertail looks thrilled at this.

Honeycloud presses a button. Jayfeather appears in a room, chained to the wall. In the room are 100,000 cans of soda, and a flamethrower with fuel.

Gingertail rushes inside the room, taking the precaution of locking the door and somehow giving the key to Honeycloud. The cats go to the Observation Chamber.

Jayfeather is seen covered in fuel. Surrounding him are 100,000 empty soda cans. Gingertail is torching Jayfeather repeatedly, gleefully dancing around.

Beetlepaw covers her eyes. "That is not a sight appropriate for kits. Or apprentices."

Lightningpaw is holding the schedule. "We need to go. We've overrun Desperate Housecats."

Honeycloud lets loose a stream of curses before turning to the camera. "Oh well. Thanks for watching this episode of Warriors: Truth or Dare!"


	3. Commercial Break

And now for our super-special commercial break!

"Are you feeling depressed?"

A tabby she-cat backs away from the overenthusiastic actress. "N-no..."

"Do your friends treat you like a dirty sock?"

The she-cat from earlier blinks. "What's a sock?"

"If so, try WILLOWBLOSSOM'S MAGICAL CATNIP! So good it'll wash your troubles away!"

The terrified tabby sprints away as fast as she can.

Previously on Warriors: Truth or Dare...


	4. Deleted Scenes 1

A startled Honeycloud glances up. "What are you doing here?"

The camera cat backs away, nervously stammering. "I swear, it was the mailcat! He told me we were airing now! I swear by StarClan..."

Honeycloud waves her paw. "Alright, but we aren't on until some-random-day-of-the-week."

This segment of video was cut off.


	5. Episode 3

Honeycloud appears on camera with a watermelon Jolly Rancher. "Do not, under _any_ circumstances, alert Beechheart of its presence."

She quickly stuffs it under a couch cushion. "Lightningpaw, get the rest of the cast. We're ready to start."

Turning back to the camera, she sees... Beechheart gnawing on the aforementioned piece of candy.

Blackwing pads in. "What'sgoing-fox dung. EVERYBODY TO BUNKER 19!"

Everybody disappears except for a confused Beechheart. "Where'd everyone go...?"

And now, a word from our sponsors!

* * *

Hi. You know me as _Honeycloud of RiverClan._ Updates will not be on a regular schedule, due to school. Thank you for listening!

* * *

Honeycloud reappears with a scorched chair burning in the background. "Sorry about that. Now, for the dares... Crystal Silvera has dared Tigerstar to prank Firestar a total of 13 times on Friday, October 13th, which is... today."

Tigerstar poofs in magically. "What. Do. You. Want."_  
_

Sunwhisker grins maniacally. "You are to prank Firestar with a whoopee cushion, permanent black hair dye, hot pink nail polish, violin, longbow, squirt gun, plastic chainsaw, and a frog-shaped bomb."

Honeycloud groans. "Must you include bombs in _everything_?"

"Yes. deal with it."

Tigerstar quietly slips away. _Good riddance..._


	6. Episode 4

Tigerstar blinks. He is in a room full of earlier mentioned supplies. "Now what am I supposed to do with all this again?"

Sunwhisker slinks out from behind a large cardboard box. 'You, my dear, are to prank Firestar using at least five of these items. Good luck!"

Grumbling, our _favorite _tabby drags a box out the door. "Mouse-brained she-cats..."

"I heard that!"

* * *

From: Honeycloud

To: Tigerstripe

Bcc: Featherstorm

Subject: get your butt off the couch

Dude. You NEED to quit playing Wii all day. I think you're, what, 3 pounds overweight?

If you don't, I'm gonna make brother dear drag your sorry ass out of the house.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

From: Tigerstripe

To: Honeycloud

Subject: Re: get your butt off the couch

sis, i dont live in a house.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

From: Featherstorm

To: Honeycloud

Subject: Re: get your butt of the couch

Why do you feel the need to bring me into your little argument?

:-;-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

From: Honeycloud

To: Featherstorm

Subject: Re: Re: get your butt off the couch

You know, I actually CARE about his well being.

Unlike you.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

From: Beetlepaw

To: Lightningpaw

Subject: u need 2 get out more

u really should. g2g cya

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

**Beetlepaw:** yo lightningpaw!

**Lightningpaw:** we aren't supposed to be chatting right now.

**Beetlepaw:** i dont care

**Lightningpaw:** never mind.

_Lightningpaw is offline and cannot receive messages right now._

**Beetlepaw:**... u suck.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

From: Featherstorm

To: Honeycloud

Subject: Re: Re: Re: get your butt off the couch

Maybe I don't have any interest in your disagreement.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

From: Honeycloud

To: Featherstorm

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: get your butt off the couch

You bastard.

* * *

Honeycloud slams her paw on her laptop. "That fox-hearted-"

Otterfoot pokes her head in the door. "Uh... Honeycloud? Is something wrong?"

This segment of video has been cut off.

* * *

Updated cast list:

Host: Honeycloud-brown and white she-cat with honey colored eyes  
Personality: sensible, easily annoyed  
Co-hosts:  
Featherstorm-gray tom with white belly and pale blue eyes  
Personality: pretty much doesn't give a sh*t about anyone other than himself  
Tigerstripe-brown tabby tom with amber eyes  
Personality: very competitive gamer  
Security:  
Gingertail-light brown tom with ginger tail  
Personality: very, very hyper when has too much soda. Unfortunately, is also addicted to soda  
Blackwing-lithe black she-cat with blue eyes  
Personality: sensible, mostly calm unless angered  
Sunwhisker-light ginger she-cat with golden tail  
Personality: loves explosives of any kind  
Hawkflight-gray tom with pale blue eyes  
Personality: very, very evil(and smart)  
Maintenance:  
Otterfoot-ginger she-cat with brown eyes  
_Apprentice: Beetlepaw-black she-cat with green eyes  
Personality: hyper every day, every minute, every second_  
Personality: don't get her angry. If you do, WATCH OUT  
Carpsplash-white she-cat with green eyes  
Personality: also very, very evil  
Beechheart-brown tom with blue eyes  
Personality: don't keep Jolly Ranchers within 200 feet of him  
Equipment manager:  
_Apprentice: Lightningpaw-silver tom with gray eyes_  
_Personality: uh... what personality?_**  
**


	7. Episode 5

**R.I.P.**

**Tigerstar**

**Beloved Leader, Warrior, and Father**

**"We're glad he's finally gone"-Most of StarClan**

* * *

Honeycloud glances at the tombstone. "This should give him plenty of time to escape."

_And now for a quick commercial break..._

* * *

Cat 1 comes onstage. "I'm soooo boooored."

Cat 2 follows. "Yeah, me too."

Bluestar pops out of nowhere. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Yellowfang watches her former leader and sighs. "I knew we should've done something about that coffee addiction of hers..."

* * *

Tigerstar leans against a tree, flanks heaving. "Thank StarClan... no, Dark Forest... gah, never mind."

* * *

A disheveled, soot-covered, and extremely pissed Firestar glares at the tombstone. "Damn, too late to skin him now..."

* * *

Honeycloud returns to the studio. "Welcome to..."

"WARRIORS: TRUTH OR DARE!"

A few of the cast members cover their ears. "Oww..."

Honeycloud flicks her tail. "Let's get down to business. The dare of the episode is... for the Clans to be introduced to Warriors crackfic. Or _The Story Of Prettysilverflower_, suggested by Crystal Silvera. Which one?"

Beetlepaw is seen frantically waving her paw in the air, yelling "Pick me! Pick me!"

Honeycloud calmly ignores her, though her eye twitches a bit.

After a few minutes of this, she finally turns to the black she-cat with in exasperation. "What is it?"

"Um... I forgot. Sorry 'bout that!"

Honeycloud mentally facepaws. "Apprentices these days..."_  
_

Bramblestar is brought into the studio. He groans. "Not this place again!"

Honeycloud eyes him. "What do you mean, again?"

Carpsplash calmly flicks her tail. "You haven't watched any other truth or dare shows?"

"It's not really a truth or dare show, more like really... unique torture," Honeycloud mutters, pacing the polished hardwood floor. "Okay, I'm gonna change the show name now. It's called... never mind. Keep it as it is."

Hawkflight proceeds to force the hapless leader to read _Prettysilverflower_. Audio is recorded.

* * *

10 seconds of audio:

_Note: strong language will be censored for apprentices and younger._

[Bramblestar] what the Dark Forest is this piece of fox*bleep*?

*pause*

[Bramblestar] WHO WROTE THIS? I demand an answer.

[Hawkflight] nobody knows.

*crashing sounds*

[Hawkflight] great. You just wrecked our only backup computer.

[Bramblestar] I'm leaving.

* * *

Honeycloud cringes. "Well... you can see the results. Thanks for watching-"

"NOOOOOOOOO MY JOLLY RANCHER! MINE-MINE-MINE!"

Static


	8. VID0035

**12:03 a.m., _Warriors: Truth or Dare _studio**

Gingertail and I silently pad into the dark studio. My bro quietly turns on the kitchen light, when suddenly...

"Who's there?"

He whips around. Coming towards them from the shadow is-

Lightningpaw! *insert thunder and lightning here*

No, really. It actually is Lightningpaw.

So, anyway. He, like, totally scared us.

And I'm like "Oh, it's just you, we thought it was some scary Twoleg monster thing."

Then I notice that he's actually made of metal plates. METAL FREAKING PLATES.

Honeycloud's gonna flip when she finds out we were here. Like, she always does.

But still. He's a freaking ROBOT, for StarClan's sake.

"...Why are you filming us? And yes, I'm a robot."

Add mind reader to the list.

"I can't read minds. You're talking, you know."

But still, it's really-Did I just say that out loud?

"You did, actually." This time it's my bro. He's got, like, 20 cans of soda. He better not drink that here.

We better get going. It's 2:30 already...

Sunwhisker, over and out!

* * *

_This has reached 8 chapters-my longest story so far. Thanks to all reviewers, anonymous or not, for your support. :D_


	9. Voiceover 1: The Truth About Lightningpa

A/N: The whole title is "The Truth About Lightningpaw", but FF cut the 'w' off...

_**Rec.**_

[Lightningpaw] Great StarClan, everything's so dusty in here.

Should I clean it?

Or I could let the maintenance take care of it.

*pause*

*static*

Ow...

*whirring gears*

_**Rec. end**_


	10. Deleted Scenes 2

Honeycloud wanders aimlessly around the studio.

A vaguely cat-shaped hunk of metal catches her eye, and...

"Lightningpaw?"

The camera cat scurries away, hoping that the host didn't see hi-

This section of video has been cut off.


	11. Episode 6

"Welcome to Truth or Dare, or more accurately, Torture the Unsuspecting Kitty! I'm your host Honeycloud. We regret to inform you that-"

"Beetlepaw, quit messing with the microphone!"

The camera falls to the floor, causing an audible crack.

"Fox dung. Otterfoot's gonna have our pelts for dinner."

A gray eye peers curiously into the camera. "There's nothing wrong with it, just a cracked lens... I'll fix it-"

This segment of video has been cut off

* * *

Honeycloud pads on-screen. "Welcome to Truth or Dare. Or, more accurately, Force the Kitty(ies) to Embarrass Themselves on Live Television!"

Beetlepaw stifles a snicker, eliciting a glare from the temperamental she-cat. "Sorry..."

"Now, before I was _so rudely interrupted... _Our guinea pigs of the day are Scourge, Jayfeather, and Beechheart. Scourge's task is to shave all his fur, leaving a mohawk from nose to tail, as suggested by Blackflare."

Scourge pales. "Wh-what? Fuck no!"

"Language! As a punishment, you must dye your remaining fur hot pink."

Scourge opens his mouth to protest, and is faced with at least 30 types of knives.

"Fine..." says Scourge, dragging his tail to the nearest barber shop...

TO BE CONTINUED!

* * *

"Our second dare, suggested by Crystal Silvera, is to have Beechheart forcibly confiscate his stick."

Beechheart glances nervously at the gray tom. 'A-are you sure this is a good idea? He might, I dunno, kill me or something..."

Honeycloud grins (as well as a cat can grin, anyway). "You forget that we cannot die in the studio..."

_I'm totally screwed..._

The tom lets out a resigned sigh.

"If I _do_ get killed, it's all your fault."

* * *

A/N: Mwahaha cliffhanger! ... or not.

11 chapters! A new record for me :D

Thanks for your support, guys (and girls). Cx


	12. Episode 7

A/N: I don't own any soda/candy brands in this story.

* * *

The spotlights fell upon Beechheart nervously peeking into the room. There, in the middle, was a snarling Jayfeather, frothy spit flying everywhere.

_They must have injected him with something..._

The brown tom quickly padded into the room, picked up the stick in his jaws, and sprinted out. Slamming the door, he spat it out.

_I am **never** doing that again..._

* * *

Honeycloud pounds several nails into the boards barricading the room. "Maybe turning him into a rabid zombie wasn't such a good idea," she pants, casting a pointed look in Hawkflight's direction.

The security tom shrugs(1). "I thought it would be funny."

"We have a raging zombie cat on our paws, and you think it's funny?"

Hawkflight runs out of the room, Honeycloud right behind him.

* * *

Blackwing presses herself against the wall, dart gun on paw. "Gingertail? Gingertail, Jayfeather is in about half a tree-length from your location. Get a freaking weapon_now_."

Gingertail whips around just in time to meet a snarling Jayfeather with a frying pan. Satisfied that the tom is unconcious, he pops open a celebratory can of Sprite...

... Just as Otterfoot tackles it out of his paw.

"What'd you do that for?"

"You aren't allowed to drink soda, mouse-brain.

"But-"

"No."

Pouting(2), he turns back to the missing body.

"_Honeycloud_!"

* * *

(1) I know cats can't shrug.

(2) Or pout, either. The cast is just heavily personified.


	13. Voiceover 2: The Zombie

A/N: Missed me? Bet you did, duckies~

Nah, just kidding. I've had this for a while now, couldn't really find a use for this. So I thought "Nah, why not." So I decided to post.

Yep.

* * *

_**Rec.**_

**Camera pans over wrecked studio area**

[Sunwhisker] Geez, what's with this mess?

**Snarling is heard**

[Sunwhisker] Wh-what's that?

**Jayfeather appears, and Sunpwhisker grabs grenade and taser gun**

[Sunwhisker] Stay away or I'll make you swallow this grenade, you **muffled noises** of a bitch!

[Lightningpaw] I suggest we (audio ends)

(audio restarted)

**Camera clatters to floor**

**Jayfeather snarls some more**

[Blackwing] Otterfoot, shoot him now!

[Otterfoot] Can't **muffled noises** don't **muffled noises** gun!

[Blackwing] **static** run **muffled noises static** !

**Static**

_**Rec. end**_


	14. Episode 8

A/N: Sorry for the wait, duckies, but writer's block is slowly killing all my creativity cells.

I do not own any insurance companies whose commercials I may or may not have parodied.

* * *

Honeycloud pushes a wriggling mass of fur and duct tape into the corner. "Sorry for the delay. We had to - ahem - restrain Jayfeather before the show could proceed."

Beetlepaw pulls a slip of paper out of a hat. "Today... a truth for Bluestar from EnderKid. Which do you like better, coffee or carrots?"

The former ThunderClan leader poofs out of nowhere. "Truthfully, carrots do nothing for me and I quite like starting the day with a nice cup of tea."

"_Coffee_ or carrots. Tea was never a part of the question."

Bluestar gives the apprentice an offended glare and poofs away.

* * *

We are Farmers! Dundundundundun!

"What's a farmer?"

* * *

Beetlepaw pulls another slip from the hat, "A dare from Petaldawn for Crowfeather: he must attack Nightcloud, Feathertail, and Leafpool."

Crowfeather groans and pounces on his mates.

"YOU MESSED UP MY FUR, CROWIE!"

"GAAAAAAAH!"

"WHAT IN STARCLAN WAS THAT FOR!?"

"_**EVERYBODY SHUT**_** UP!**"

Everyone within hearing range stared at the irate maintenance cat.


End file.
